Don’t just stand there

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My son, Coltrane, is 9 months old and he still hasn’t mastered crawling yet. He manages to scoot back or “wounded soldier” crawl forward. As a new mom, I have to remind myself that every child has a different timeline for achieving  certain developmental milestones. In this case, I thought that maybe he would start walking before he crawls. We’ve been practicing how to stand with his walker. His legs have become really strong and he’s working on his balance. He’s gained quite a bit of confidence and all he wants to do now is stand. I can see the pride on his face. However, when I try to move his feet, he is less likely to budge. He doesn’t really understand that there’s more to standing. He’s perfectly content to just stand there.
How many times have I just stood without any intent to walk in my spiritual life? Sometimes, I block myself from progress by believing I do all that I do in my own strength, instead of giving God all the glory. It’s as if I’m saying, “Wow, I’m a great writer! Look at me!”, without demonstrating my talent and using it for Kingdom purposes. Isaiah 42:8 NLT states,  “I am the Lord ; that is my name! I will not give my glory to anyone else, nor share my praise with carved idols.”
There are other times when I stand without walking because fear paralyzes me. During these phases, I recognize that there is a purpose, but I don’t believe that I can accomplish what the Lord has called me to do. Jesus encouraged his disciples, “Jesus called the Twelve to him, and sent them out in pairs. He gave them authority and power to deal with the evil opposition. He sent them off with these instructions: “Don’t think you need a lot of extra equipment for this. You are the equipment. No special appeals for funds. Keep it simple”
Mark 6:7-9 MSG.
There are still other times, when I don’t move in my faith walk because I’m not diligently seeking Him or studying His Word. How are we to know when to move or how many steps to take without direction? The Word says,” My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord , and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him. Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go
(Proverbs 2:1-9 NLT)”. And also, “Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light to my path (Psalms 119:105)”.
Coltrane will be ready to walk when he realizes that his legs are meant for more than standing, loses his fear of falling, and realizes that I’ll be there to guide him every step of the way. I have to remember that God is lovingly doing the same thing with me.

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Dear Coltrane, You are 2 months old today!

My son, Coltrane. 2 months old.
My son, Coltrane. 2 months old.

Dear Coltrane,

You are 2 months old today! I feel like you are a toddler, because you have grown so much physically and developmentally in the past two months.

You have such a HUGE personality! This month you learned to return our smiles and smile when you are happy. I just LOVE that you wake up EVERY morning smiling. You remind me that no matter the circumstances, each day that God gives us is truly a blessing. We should be filled with joy every time we open our eyes.

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You don’t hesitate to hide how you feel, and your many faces reflect that. This helps me to remember to be true to myself.

You still like to eat and weigh a little over 11lbs. I put a rattle in your hand, and you held it and shook it. You are entertained by the mobile in your Pack and Play. You are so determined. You try so hard during Tummy Time, and reach as far as you can to try and tap Tigger in your lounge chair. Sometimes you get frustrated, and I want to make it easier for you. But you have to learn to do it yourself. I’m always nearby for encouragement, hugs and kisses.

You visited your grandparents in Maryland and met your great-grandparents (and great aunt) for the first time. We took you blueberry picking. It was a beautiful day, even though you slept through the whole thing. Everyone loves you and everyone keeps saying that you’re an old soul. Your Tia Tee Tee spoiled you. Gigi and Pop Pop couldn’t keep their hands off you. They can’t wait until you visit next time.

Trane and his great grandparents
Trane and his great grandparents

You love Daddy, and turn your head every time you hear his voice. You use his chest as a recliner and a jungle gym. You guys watch soccer, excuse me, football together. He looks forward to seeing you everyday after work. I love watching you two bond.

Watching Jamaica vs Mexico
Watching Jamaica vs Mexico

You can’t say, “I love you”, yet. But I know you do. Especially during those rare moments when we look into each other’s eyes. Your eyes get big and bright. You coo and smile. You are showing me, in your own little way, that you love and appreciate me.

I love and appreciate you too, more than you’ll ever know. I can’t wait to see what the third month will bring.

Love, Mommy

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